Back to the Dashboard

I've grown up a lot since my last post. I've just turned 21, I'm at University and have a real life proper boyfriend.... but I've just had the cold fairy come and sprinkle some grem filled depression all over my day. Its as if the germs had nothing better do to, saw me minding my own and just bombard me for no real reason! Today was the day I started all over again, I've signed up for not one, but two gyms and I had finally penned into my diary that I would attend the wretched sweaty hell hole again today....but no. Mother Nature decided it was not my time and that I should stay at home and eat more biscuits to cheer myself up. Thanks very much. And when I have to start buying a size bigger jeans...I'll know who to send the bill to.

Sod's Law

I must be the unluckiest person ever! I woke up today - 2 days before my birthday and have found myself with a cold. Either someone hates me and gives me the lurgy every year of my immune system is just crap. How many different types of cold can there be? I must have built up immunity to thousands of them over the years! Part of me has a mind to sue the school - cleaning other people's dust and inhaling it can't have helped! I know I shouldn't moan because loads of people are worse off than me but its just annoying really. Anyway i can hardly see the screen from my cold induced tears - i'm off to have a throat sweet and possibly a hot drink.

Return Of The Mack

Today, I finally realised what a blog was actually for, and thought "That's quite a novel way of passing some time" so that's exactly what I'm doing. I also realised my ambition(I say ambition-its more like nightmare) of putting myself - semi voluntarily-through one of the most unpleasant experiences ever. As part of my job I had to clean out toilets. My chum Nic has to do this every day and will probably tell me to stop being such a girl about it and be grateful, but it is truly foul and has opened my eyes to the habits of some of the youth.
I found myself thinking like someone of an older generation as i disinfected the bowls of terror. These children have obviously been too busy hanging round in hoodies and getting pregnant so that all basic hygiene seems to have evaded them. For instance - the other day poor old Nic came across none other than urine soaked toliet roll in a bin! I mean, what went through that person's mind when they did that? Did their parents tell them to do that? I could understand if they were raised by wolves and didn't know how to use a toilet but they're not!
Anyway, elderly rant over - on the plus side the gang and I might get to do a radio show! I reckon we'll be much better than Chris Moyles and infinately better than Fearne bloody Cotton.

First Past The Post!

Hello, good evening and welcome. As always, I am sitting here doing nothing, waiting for the day I can finally bugger off and die. But until then, I am starting my new blog, compliments of one Miss N.C Churchard, watching ants crawl around in the coffee machine, thinking of the best ways to kill them. Contrary to popular belief, Noel Edmonds probably won't be mentioned by myself, as I have realised he is actually quite a boring old fart. In a day of firsts, I had my first Fisherman's friend(the popular sweet - if you can call it that-not anything rude)They were bitter and tasted like shirt, so unimaginatively I spat it into the bin. Perhaps this is why the ants have decided to swarm around the coffee machine, which is placed, quite unhygenically above the bin. Miss N.C. Churchard has decided to allieviate the problem by tormenting and squashing one. I know what you're thinking but its ok because she's a vegan. *this is the voice of the mysterons, I did not squash the ant, it is still here, playing with it's gay ant friends, Anton, and Antony* Anyway, the bloody thing will not let me press enter and start a new paragraph, so I ask you this before I go...Deal, or No Deal?